What Does Your Watch Say About You?

By Bruce Shawkey

Found this fun article in a 1957 issue of Europa Star magazine:

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We reproduce here, for the amusement of our readers, the conclusions drawn by an American psychologist on masculine character as deduced from men's watches. According to this chart a young lady need only to glance at the watch worn by her beloved to know whether she has decided on the right man for her.

Plain watches with black figures: A retiring, modest man of few words. The owner of this type of watch can be trusted implicitly though he is rather shy. But he keeps both feet on the ground and his fundamental common sense enables him to face facts squarely. He makes a good husband.

Modern watch with calendar feature: The owner of this type of watch has a highly developed sense of punctuality. He will be considerate and obliging towards his wife but will demand from her both exactitude and reliability. He tends sometimes to be pedantic and occasionally a grumbler. But as against these disadvantages he makes an excellent husband and father.

Expensive watch set with precious stones: On the whole the wearer of this sort of timepiece is inclined to be vain. He is also prodigal and open-handed in business, He will expect his wife to make a striking impression for her beauty and grooming so as to excite the envious admiration of other men. Not always faithful, this type considers woman as a beautiful adornment that can also be changed from time to time.

The pocket watch (hunter): The man who favors this watch has character. His value and capacity do not need to be shown off. He has originality, is utterly reliable and settled in his ways, difficult to influence and on occasion obstinate. 

And the man who doesn't wear a watch? Psychology has reached conclusions about him too in America. This type is generally excentric, sometimes artistic. He can be very friendly but is also liable to irritate those close to him by his extravagance. Usually affectionate and demonstrative he makes a good father. His wife must not curtail his need for freedom nor reproach him for his lack of sartorial elegance. We also suggest as a further quality that this type will never know if his wife is late for dinner or an appointment as he himself will be unaware of the correct time. A very mixed blessing in matrimony or business.